BrokenAndTired

Grassy fields and shining seas A light breeze flows over me From my perch upon the cliff I watch breakers coming in Life is probably not so bad So I wonder why I'm always sad Even in this pretty place I can only think of my disgrace So if you see me sitting there Don't assume I'm without a care If you happen to look away I might disappear into the spray

Will I someday be beautiful Loved and wanted, not cynical Can I see a mirror as a friend Instead of as a thing to dread Will I ever see the sight Of a version of me I like A person I can be proud to be Not full of fear and uncertainty

Just be yourself I hear them say A platitude repeated day after day I don't know what they think of me A mirror with no reality I change my face with every breath To be who everyone else likes best Someday I would like to be myself To take my real face off the shelf But I can no longer find that mask Lost in the illusions of my past

Waiting and fumbling and falling away Realities too hard to face each day Who am I, and what am I, what is this body It's never been mine, it's so easy to see It never matched just what I wanted to be Now time has passed and what a laugh I'm still afraid to face the real me What would she say to her tormentor The one who never let her just be The prisoner and jailor we are destined to be Suppressing all the could have been Denying my own destiny Dying slowly an act of despondency Slow motion descent into pure misery

The cold dissipates spring coming in bringing out what was asleep not grown and blooming. Faint fragrance of flora and fauna drifting around. What was once silent replaced by the many chirps of birds that came back other sounds made by other creatures. Good humor spreads around the weather is clear and warmth slowly spreads. Once an eternal winter, a frozen sanctuary almost withered to nothing by the monster that guarded it. Now it had been driven out, slowly it changes returning to its former glory and some. The fire once snuffed out, now rekindles small, but bright.